CAN I BE BY YOUR SIDE??

Friday, November 23, 2007

i like you alot!!!!!!!! damn it!!!!

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
5:20 AM;

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

ok fine.. i havent been updating my blog for quite sometime (its not as if this blog is read by anyone also).. well blame it on my A's.. which not over but yet i can declare as party time still.. y?? cause i am left with a freaking last paper that ends so far away from the rest of my subjects.. and worse still its a day before prom... whats wrong with people that set the schedule for the exams.. ok lets not blame them.. but blame those that decided to have prom on that day.. but im ok..:) cause i have prepared my dress long enuff before prom.. so theres not much of a problem for me.. nyaha!

lets get back to a serious issue that i really need to share.. my name is lydia..and i have been made to look like a fool, a really dumb fool.. all for the name of love.. and to think that i did such a thing..its way beyond my league.. wat was i thinking??????? omg!! worse still,.... oh nvm... anw wat can i say, i have done it and i cant turn back time.. so i have to just live with this for my entire life of being made a fool...

i feel like screaming out loud.. i am not in a good state of mind for the past few days.. well simply because im thinking abt many stuffs...

honestly, im sad... inside.. well people may think im happy cause ive done it... but the agony of waiting and waiting will never stop bothering me...
nobody is at fault.. its just my own wishful thinking... maybe its a bad choice afterall.. maybe i should just let it be a secret and will always be.... oh damn! wat have i done??? i shouldnt be looking high up.. when im actually just a mere lydia.. cant help the fact that im not belong to those high end... or maybe i dowan to be part of them.. cause i like being me.. but being me isnt a good thing afterall esp looking at the ones you love.. the loves that can never accept me.. maybe i should stop dreaming.. and find stg that is of "my own size"..cause i can never belong there.. never..

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
10:51 PM;

Sunday, September 16, 2007

prelim 2 is going to be over in two days time.. phew! oh well.. what can i say? the usual "the papers were ok..cant say that its easy or hard..but doable".. but results seem to prove a whole lot different thing.. haiyah!! well just hope this time it will be better.. anws, A's is like 40 plus more days.. 40 PLUS MORE DAYS.. oh my.. its less than two months.. time to just study and study and study.. its fasting month now and i hope its a blessing in disguise.. when people start celebrating for RAYA, it only gonna remind me that its the start of A's..gees..its scarier than i thought..

anws. teddy has been a notie boy. though hes still cute as ever, but he showed me his true colours. and im actually taken aback by it.. haha.. not that i dun like but instead its better.. a tinge of notieness is better than totally goody-to-shoes.. :) notie putty tat!

love is in the air for me and my frens.. everybody is head over heals with guys.. nyaha! the closer you get to ur A's, the more i see my frens liking that special someone.. haha! better concentrate huh? study first tau..

ok lah.. lap lap and away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
1:44 AM;

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

fries apples raspberry ice-cream sushi.. do you think it will go well with lychee yogurt durian icetea apricot? what do you think? that is if you get it..

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
7:48 AM;

Sunday, July 29, 2007

its been ages since i update this blog of mine.. ive been very busy for these past few weeks.. prelims and endless mugging just not allowing me to have time to update aniting.. this is the time that i really need to be focussed of i want to go university.. so sorry peeps that i havent been spending time with u ppl out there.. trust me after my A's everything will be back to normal..

so anw, ive managed to squeeze in some time from mugging to update abt myself.. my prelims result were not as fantastic but ive improved and im proud of myself.. though theres still plenty of room for improvement, im happy enuff :).. now my aim is to get better results for my prelim 2.. have i told you guys this, but A's is less than 100 days.. oh gosh.. its frightening.. so ive been mugging all night after school for three weeks oredi.. not bad huh? stayed back till 9pm everyday in the library to revise, finish up assignments and plenty other stuffs to cover.. its effective studying late at night in school i think plus the extra motivation that i got..nyaha! teddy!

and yah.. talking abt teddy.. i got this 'news'.. teddy's class got to know abt somebody(me) from my class likes somebody(teddy) from his class.. get it so far? nyaha! this math teacher of mine got to know and apparently told teddy's CT(form teacher) that one of his boys has an admirer.. and this CT went to share the news with the class -slaps forehead-.. alamak! i heard and i was shocked.. luckily my math teacher nvr say my name..or else.. im in deep shit/embarassment/dunno wat to do... so anws.. this guy from that class went abt asking my fren who is this girl.. we acted blur by saying we didnt know abt it.. and guess wat.. after much guessing been made, the guy came into a conclusion that its ME... omg! but the "phew" part was that they got the wrong guy... nyaha! hahahahah... abit exciting but abit sad as well.. teddy knows abt it but he seems not bothered.. :(

im going for prom.. cant wait for that.. i went when i was in primary school and secondary school.. so JC is a must.. and i hope teddy is going as well.. nyaha!

lets get serious.. im pissed after this guy said stg to me.. not gonna mention name and wat he told me.. lets get this straight.. why cant i do it? do u think im not as matured as she is? y must it be her and not me? its freaking irritating.. just because you think she is sensible and more language-pro than i am can give u the right to hurt me that bad.. i hate when im being looked down..im not angry at her but you.. yes you.. well u know wat, if im immatured and not somebody that is good at talking, then dun talk and consult me if you have probs anymore..cause even after all the times that i listened to you and helped you out, you still think that im just not good enuff.. go and talk to somebody else and not me.. enuff said..

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
11:32 PM;

Monday, June 11, 2007

My weekends were spent rather interesting and fun.. had my Orchid Park Wind Orchestra band camp and the outing to sentosa with the people.. had to teach the sec 1 and helped out with the camp..

Friday
Met up with charlene and jannah first before proceeding to OPSS to check in to the camp.. reaching there, the wind orchestra was having rehearsal while the junior winds (sec 1) were having their footdrills.. so me and char headed to the basketball court to have footdrills with them.. guess wat?? theres this SOOOOOO CUTE sec 1 boy.. his name is Didi Fazlin and he is so cute...so short and has dimples on his cheek.. seriously he will grow to be a handsome kid... but too bad he is a bit mat-tish.. the sec 1's were abit terrible at footdrills.. nvm they have time to catch up from us.. after that we had more rehearsals.. we also watched movies at the staff lounge.. watched Pearl Habour, my all time fav... i thought i am the only fan but theres alot more that love that movie as well... then watched Shrek 2. ahaha! damn funny...

however, the night time was extremely boring.. i dunno wats wrong with the whole band cause all of them, i really mean all of them went straight to sleep lah.. and only left the alumnis and a few sec 4's.. we were so bored.. that we headed to the basketball court to sleep and gazed at stars.. we slept there from 2am to 4am..we then went back to class to continue class cause it was so cold there..

Saturday
today was the outing to sentosa.. met up with siti at ABC supermaket in the morning.. buy tidbits and stuffs before meeting hafiz, kat and AR at harbour front.. after all the buying of stuffs we then proceeded to sentosa via the sentosa express that i took for the first time.. ive always taken the bus instead.. there were alot of people actually.. really alot.. then we went to siloso beach.. and started eating and then swam around at the sea.. it was nice but the weather was really scorching hot that i got a sunburnt..

after the sentosa trip, we then went to eat at vivo at the top level.. it was nice as it was windy.. after that i headed back to school back to camp.. i was very tired but then theres more alumni that came to stay over.. we played poker till morning.. then slept at the parade square and again we headed back to class to sleep again as it was cold..

Sunday
More rehearsals today for the main band as there will be Prima Volta for the sec 1's.. me and char just kept on watchin movies at staff lounge as we are not performing for the concert.. watched silent hill.. its more of gore than horror lah.. haha!

then the mini concert started... actually, the band improved alot.. my double bass juniors are very good right now that i myself feel threatened.. cmon lydia.. i have to practice harder since im their senior and i wun wanna fall out.. :)

then at night, theres the camp finale.. the interesting part was only the auctioning of the items by the different groups.. looking at the stuffs that they got, it was so funny lah... and my cute Didi was so cute..must i really mention that again??hahaha..cause its obvious.. after the finale, some of the alumnis had to go back already.. and it was back to boredom.. me and jannah initially were the ones sleeping at the hall this night, and then suddenly hussaini, narisa and nicole joined us. i got my sleep for this night...

Monday
MAJOR TAN SHOULD REALLY DIE... this OM of mine is reall a bitch i tell u.. he always picked on the band.. he came in the morning to inspect our camp areas and guessed what hes not satisfy.. damn him!! every year, EVERY YEAR he always have to do this.. its not as if the school was in a havoc condition lah.. it was to me rather ordinary lah... but he just have to complain.. and this was what he said :"shame on you band members".. seriously he should go and die.. DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF!! and he said he saw a couple walking in the morning.. omg! since when our school became a one gender school.. cant a guy and girl walk together?? is he that old-minded? freak!!!! i hate him.. the alumnis will take revenge one day....

after that the alumnis facilatated with the games for the sec 1's.. oh my the sec 1's were really irritating.. but Didi is still so cute.. im gonna take pic with him one day and show to u people..after the camp, we went to buddy hoagies cafe to have our lunch and then we sat at the playground to talk..

that how i spent my whole weekend.. was fun but tiring... really tiring.. :)..
now is mugging time.. i really need to start mugging and study... bye peeps..
teddy, i miss you..

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
5:15 AM;

Sunday, June 03, 2007

teddy, specially dedicating this post to him.. yes you..

at first, u were just that boy next door.. nothing special, nothing great.. u walked past me a couple of times and i saw u, im sure we glanced each other but u were just plain, ordinary.. we are in the same school but yet u were not really there at first.. cause ure just you...

but as time passes by, i soon to realise my surrounding, including you.. i begin to notice you, i begin to see you more often (not that as if i have never seen u that often before).. but the encounter with u becomes more real.. more real that it soon turns me alive.. not only alive, but me having the life that i really want..

ure smile, ure laughter soon becomes clearer to my eyes.. even the slightest actions can bring a smile to my face...soon my heart takes a great leap... so great and deep that it is turning to a dream to me.. you are my fantasy.. my happiness... my joy... it seems eternity and oh i wish it can just stay this way..

but y is it you? y cant it be anybody else? y must it be the person that i didnt even notice at the beginning? y only now? argh!! i dont have the answer to it cause im sure that this comes truly from my heart... my pure heart..

however in this life, nothing comes perfect.. i know that its hard for me to overcome the fact that im just ur fellow schoolmate... i can just be that girl, and nothing more in your eyes.. i barely know you.. and you barely know me..

im just that ordinary girl and u on the other hand is so high, so high that u cant be able to notice me... i can never be in that position.. i can never... cause for all i know, im just lydia.. yes that lydia that u know... i know its dumb of me to even have the thought of being with u.. i know my dream of being with u is high and so faraway.. :(

however high up u are, trust me, ure still you.. and the person that i love is you and not the person that is high up there.. i love the real you.. yes you, teddy... i dun care what others may think.. i dun care what others may see..i dun care what others may say..for i know that ure the person that i love... the person that is able to cheer me up when im down.. the person that is able to motivate me and give me the strength..

i just wanna hold your hands.. i just wanna spend my time with you.. i just wanna be close to you.. i just wanna be in your arms.. and most importantly, i just wanna love you the bestest way i could.. to cherish and treasure you.. i love you...

with love, lyd

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sorry for that lengthy note for teddy.. im just feeling down lately for the fact that i think he knows abt it.. hes treating me differently.. i dont want that to happen.. the last thing that could happen is him not talking to me..

i browsed thru several blogs.. and ive come to realise that teddy is so high up while im so low.. :(.. i know that i cant match up to him and i know its crazy of me.. but nevertheless, i will still persevere.. nothing can be compared to the feelings that i have for him.. i truly and sincerely love him.. i hope he will soon realise the meaning of it...InsyaAllah...:)

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
5:09 AM;